The genius that is Eddie Izzard has previously asked “Cake or Death?”. I’m not saying that it’s one of life’s most critical issues – but the right answer is, of course, cake.
One of the unseen clips from the first episode that was unveiled on Friday night’s Extra Slice showed that it’s not an either/or proposition for GBBO, but in fact it was Cake AND Death.
Act shocked. Take a step back if necessary, but the big news was that Paul killed a fly. To be honest, you’d have thought he’d have been able to stare it to death, but no. He used a fish slice. A FISH SLICE I tell you!
Look at the video below and you’ll be impressed with his fly swatting skills. He gets the job done in one attempt. Which is remarkable because if you’re like me, a normal citizen of the universe, trying to swat a fly somehow manages to bear all the hallmarks of a Saturday-night drunk fist-fighting nobody outside a deserted nightclub. Not Paul though. Never Paul.
Controversially though, he put the utensil back in its place on Benjamina’s surface without washing it. It appears that in doing so he committed a punishable offense and the sandal and socks brigade are all up in arms. But I’m sure all will be forgiven by Wednesday….in time for Biscuit Week.
The Jaffa Cake Incident of 2016 has lasted much longer than even the Beeb could have imagined. We all know that Mary, visibly taken aback, put her stake in the sand with the haughtily delivered “we don’t do that in the south you know”, and on that note the Twitterati went into immediate and persistent overdrive.
Paul has single-handedly reignited what is arguably the biggest unsolved mystery in the entire world. Is a Jaffa Cake a cake or a biscuit?
Well….it was on Cake Week, so that is a definite statement of intention. But Paul, whisper it quietly, dunked it as if it were a mere digestive. Cue a collective implosion of horror all across the land.
If someone dipped a Jaffa cake into tea in my home they’d be immediately asked to leave #GBBO
— Bry (@BryOnTour) August 24, 2016
I think the BBC needs to issue a full apology after showing Paul Hollywood dunking a Jaffa Cake in a cup of tea. Disgusting behaviour
— Max(well) (@Mouldyteabag) August 24, 2016
The subsequent debacle raged on and on….and on. That is until McVitie’s themselves weighted in on the conversation and shut it down once and for all.
Kerry Owens, Brand Director at McVitie’s, acknowledged that only the British could get so fantastically passionate about this burning issue, but surmised, that “As the experts of all things Jaffa Cake, we tend to agree – the sponge base just isn’t robust enough to hold up in a hot drink”.
So there you have it. Jaffa Cakes are not for dunking. Ergo they’re cakes, not biscuits. Question answered and issue resolved. (Well at least until next time).
One more sleep ‘til Wednesday ……
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